Heather asks:
I’ve noticed you’ve mentioned in your status updates that the girls aren’t sleeping very much right now. Have you thought about switching to formula?
Sure, I’ve thought about switching to formula. But not to improve the girls’ sleep — to improve my own!! Technically, if we were formula feeding, I could send Mike in for some of the middle of the night feedings. :) However, I don’t really think that just switching to formula is going to make them better sleepers. Although a few full nights of sleep sure would do wonders for my mental outlook these days, I think I’ll stick with breastfeeding.
This week, the girls have been waking around 11:30. I try putting paci’s back and end up back in their room to feed them about 11:50. Then again between 2:30 and 3:30. Then again around 6:15. They are always up for the day at 8, and usually before. Considering it takes around 40 minutes for each feeding, I am achieving very broken sleep and so are they… 
Bo was a much better sleeper at this stage than the girls and I am not really sure why. Is it because I wake them to eat if one of them is up (in an attempt to get some sleep myself)? Is it because they share a room? Is it because they aren’t as bulky as he was at their age?
We’ve been following the Babywise schedule and we were down to one waking a night for awhile — but now we are back to three. For some reason, they want to eat every three hours — all — day — long! We did start both girls on an evening cereal feeding last night.
I’m up for suggestions as to how to improve the sleep issues. Are there any great books that you’ve read that you’d like to recommend? What are your suggestions? Mommy could really use a silent night.
Friday’s Feature at Sticky Feet Part Deux is Ask Jamie. Feel free to email me or leave a comment with any question you would like for me to answer. Anything is fair game!
I think each child (even the twins) are just different and the sleeping patterns will not be identical. Have you thought about doing the bedtime feeding or first night time feeding with bottles of pumped milk so you could get a little extra break (pump right before you go to bed) and let Mike handle that feeding for awhile?
PUMP and let dad give them a bottle at that last 1130 feeding and you go on to bed early–it won't hurt them or you—then wake up with them the rest of the night.
Try feeding them cereal 2-3 times daily.
They should be sleeping thru the night at this age. Maybe breastfeeding isn't meant to be for them due to twins and they aren't getting enough quality calories/fat. It isn't the end of the world—stop trying to be a hero mom!
"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins" is great. At less than 4 months (2 1/2 months corrected age), one of my babies is sleeping through the night and the other isn't far off.
Jamie, I think you are doing such a good job with the breastfeeding and I just want to encourage you to keep doing it as long as you'd like. I know the night time feeding is rough, but many many babies do a little sleep milestone backtrack about 4 months of age, breastfed or not. Both of mine did as well. It's just a stage, their nervous systems are changing as well as their nutritional needs. You are doing a great job and I hope you can plow through to get to the point where they stretch their sleep a little longer again.
I'm with the first commenter to have dad bottle feed and you pump that 11:30 feed then have dad bottle feed the 2:30 feed for a night or two so you can sleep through to the 6:30 one. Don't know if Mike will go for that, but at least it could give you a decent stretch of sleep for one night.
If you start pumping milk for the night feedings. You will know how much intake the girls are really getting plus cereal feedings should help with their sleep habits.
Are the girls really getting enough from breast feeding?
O was never a sleep through the night sort of baby, so I really can't help you with the sleeping habits. What I can tell you is that I MANAGED it by pumping and having J do one of the feedings either in the beginning or the end of the night so I could catch up on my own sleep.
The other thing – and not sure how much you're focused on it – but O was one of those kids that when he got sleep deprived from a night or two of broken sleep, he'd sleep less and less. We had to put him to bed MUCH earlier than his scheduled time so he could catch up. Counterintuitive for sure, but the nights that we put him to bed an hour earlier that his regular schedule, he slept just as long. And then started giving us more time in between wakings.
Might be worth a try, at any rate.
I'm not sure I agree with anonymous that they "SHOULD" be sleeping through the night. All kids are different, and some of them just aren't natural sleepers. I don't think that giving them formula is going to magically solve the sleep issue, and I commend you for being the mom to exclusively BF your twins.
Just sayin.
xxx
Thanks for all of the suggestions so far. I really do read and think about what you guys write. I appreciate it.
A little clarification/addition to this post: The girls are growing well and our doctor feels that they are getting enough from breastfeeding not to warrant forumla. We are working up to three meals a day. By 6 months they will be eating three times a day with cereal, fruits, and veggies.
I do pump right before bed. This milk is what Katie gives the girls at their 10/11 am feeding while I am at work. It isn't really possible for me to pump from work so I go from 8 am to 1 pm without feeding or pumping. The night pump feeds them in the mornings. However, I do have some milk frozen that could be used for a nighttime bottle. My body can't go too long without pumping or feeding though, so even if Mike took one feeding, there is a good chance I'd be uncomfortable and wake up anyway before the next feeding. I am always very ready to get home from work to feed them due to discomfort. Also, the few nights they have made it to 3 or 4, I've been really full.
My twins were formula fed from about 6 weeks on… so I'm no help. As long as their Pedi. thinks they are doing fine and you can manage it without going crazy – I'd say you are ok with continuing to breastfeed. Maybe adding the cereal will help.
I *completely* disagree the poster who said that the babies should be sleeping through the night by now. They are WAY too little for that to be an expectation! Some kiddos STTN early, and some don't. It sounds like you got lucky with Bo, which is awesome. You are doing nothing wrong with the twins, it is not indicative of a problem that they are waking up. Check out kellymom.com, it's an awesome web site: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html
I do agree with the recommendation of "Health Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Weissbluth. It saved my sanity when my son was around 7 months, I'm re-reading it in preparation for the twins.
I don't have any suggestions for you other than what you're doing. You're doing everything you can do to help them develop good sleep habits. Keep breastfeeding. They ARE getting enough. You're their Mom, you know best. Keep up with waking the other one for feedings and they will catch on. I know it seems like forever since you've seen any decent rest but it will come. I was in the exact same place a year ago, and now my girls sleep for 12 hours in a row. It will come. You're doing great!
I don't think it is an issue of breastfeeding or the twins not getting enough. At 4 months, my LO was definitely not STTN and waking up at least once or twice. Since she was formula fed it and DH was unemployed, it was easy to make daddy help out with the feedings. Plus I was dealing with just one baby. She wasn't consistently STTN until she was 12 months and even then I had to resort to a little CIO (which the twins are too little for IMO). Hang in there!
I have never posted before, and who knows if it will help, but I do have 3 small children, all 3 years apart, pregnant with #4, all who slept from 1130p-6a from 8-9 weeks on, one considered "early"Call it luck or whatever, but thank God! 6.5 hours—-That to me is sleeping thru the night for their age and the stretch of sleep makes all the difference in the world! My children always ate every 3 hours during the day as well—and then I let them decide how long they could go during the night. They all have great reports from the MD. My sister has a new infant and my parents adopted a new baby (kid #5) recently as well—all have slept the same way as described above with the same type of feeding patterns used—Thank God!
First of all, is it a consistent child waking up each night to feed and then you wake the other up? I never woke my kids to eat in the middle of the night. I didn't have twins either, but if it is one consistently waking, have you tried not waking the other up to see if they sleep thru the night? Then you would maybe know who may need more during the day? I know you said in a very earlier post that usually Clara gets fed first and she is the bigger baby—eventhough Anna is growing appropriately, is she really getting enough fat/calories since she is fed 2nd? Things of course may have changed now I am just questioning all reasons to think about. Friends of Jamie, please don't kill me for that thought!
I have my kids share rooms as well—rarely does one wake the other, but could that be a possiblity? Have you tried moving one for a night or two to see if that is what is occurring and interrupting their sleep? Maybe they aren't ready to share rooms???
When I started cereal at 4 months, I gave it twice daily as per the pediatrician. Once in the AM, once in the evening. Have you thought about that? Then at 6 months, they did eat the increase with fruits, veggies, etc just like you said.
My husband always did the 1130 feeding at night and I went on to bed. Yes, I thought I might explode at first, but my body adjusted. Pump and let dad feed them a bottle. My husband LOVED having that special one on one time with just him and the baby. The rest of the night, I got up with the kids for their feedings. Formula won't magically fix their sleeping, neither will breastfeeding, but you will at least have an extra hour or two added to your time! Ask dad to do that, even if it is for a few nights or so.
I never had a problem with this, but I have heard some people talk about "habits". Could it be habit they are waking to feed still at night? Who am I, just throwing that out there to think about as well.
What about taking a nap daily for a while until they are completely sleeping, especially if Bo is taking a nap at that time—or if on the weekend, dad has his special 1 on 1 time?
What about their reflux? Both of my boys had and still have to this day horrible reflux. We had to try several different meds before we found the right combo. Could that be bothering them causing them to wake eventhough they are on a medication? Babies naturally want to suck to ease pain and comfort them—maybe they are needing something other than a feeding to help stomach pain from reflux??
Are they bundled up really well/swaddled when they are sleeping? Are they flipping over causing the blankets to come off? Could they be getting too cold and that causing them to wake?
Looking back on my comment, I didn't really make any suggestions to help, but gave you a lot to think about and asked you more questions. Sorry about that. I know what it's like to get tired–I worked full time until I had #3. I stay at home now with the kids, so I have less stress and more flexibility with the sleeping/waking at night part. I have to say, my husband still even with the older ones, does not hear them when someone cries out from a bad dream, being sick, etc—it is still me that gets up. He will stay up all night with them, but if he goes to sleep, he misses out!
Also, you haven't mentioned how the girls are feeling during the day—are they exhausted, fussy, and sleeping most of the day to where their days and nights might be mixed up or are they well rested and wanting to play?
Our girls were formula fed from day 1 (low-birth-weight twins + emergency C-section + preeclampsia not being a recipe for nursing success). I absolutely loved using formula, honestly, but I don't think it had much to do with getting our girls to sleep through the night. They started STTN around 2.5 months, but when I look back at it, I realize that we were giving them bottles at 9 pm and waking them up at 6 am. They slept well until about age 7 months and then we had a lot of problems for 6 months. Only recently, at age 14 months, have they started sleeping for 10-12 hours, and it's not perfect by any means.
Nearly all sleep experts say that 4 months is really the earliest age at which babies can be sleep trained. I believe that's a big difference from Babywise. If you are going to read Weissbluth's twin book, do it now, because it's really geared toward young infants. I can send it to you if you like; I found it pretty useless when I picked it up last fall. My two sleep book picks are Ferber and Pantley. And Ferber has a MUCH more liberal idea of how many hours the average child should be sleeping at any age (usually 1.5 to 2 hours less than what Weissbluth and Pantley say), so I loved his book right off the bat. But the thing is, none of these books really acknowledges that sleep "training" is much more challenging with multiples and second or later babies, or discusses it in depth. Even Weissbluth's twin book kind of skirts this issue. You have to do more soothing to minimize the problem of one child waking the other. Sometimes the twins will sleep through each other's crying, and sometimes not.
Hope you get some shut-eye soon!
I'm just about in the same boat as you, so I'm interested to check back on what other commenters say. That being said, I don't have much advice, because I often question myself similarly when it comes to achieving STTN in infants. I have a 4.5 month old, and he's still not STTN. He can go 8-9 hours w/o eating (16 lbs), but still wakes to be soothed back to sleep or have his diaper changed about every 4 hours (up until a few nights ago, it used to be 2-3 hrs, oiy.) My oldest STTN @ 6 weeks, which made it incredibly frustrating (and made me feel crazy!) when my middle didn't STTN until 9 mos, but at least the third time around I'm aware that the former (my oldest's STTN) apparently is "unusual" – who knew???
Don't listen to naysayers about switching to formula ~ you're doing a fabulous job EBF twins! They are happy & healthy, and your pedi has assured you of this.
Hang in there, Jamie, it will get better!
I really like "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby", he doesn't talk about twins in it though. I'm assuming the twins book mentioned earlier is by the same author.
LG and SB used to wake each other up during nap time and they were in separate rooms, we just have a small house. I started using a fan for white noise and that helped.
I know with twins nursing is different, but I'm able to nurse Sister in bed and dose through a feeding, I feel pretty well rested considering. M goes to get her, changes her, then I feed her and put her back to bed.
Good luck!
I am a new reader and realize a lot of other moms have given there two cents, all good advice. Just wanted to give my encouragement that you are AWESOME for successfully breastfeeding twins as a working mom. I had my first, (singleton,) 10 mos ago, and am still breastfeeding. He was as healthy as could be but did not sleep through the night, ( as in a solid 6 hours,) until 5 mos. And then, you could be guaranteed, that if one thing happened for a week or two, it was guaranteed to change the following week due to teething, new food tummy troubles, first cold, etc. Now he sleeps great when not affected by one of the above. Just have to say, stick with the breastfeeding, you really are an inspiration for all, and time will tell. I personally did not add solids till 5 1/2 mos, but that did make a difference with his sleeping habit. As you add cereal now, and fruit and veggies to come, things will lengthen out a bit. Also, your girls could be in a major growth spurt as well if they WERE sleeping through the night, and now they aren't, which would be solved by the "time will tell" philosophy.
Sorry for the lack of a secret bullet, but thanks for being an inspirational working mom and a great writer!
I am an occasional lurker, (indulging when my crazy life lets me,) and realize a lot of other moms have given there two cents, all good advice. Just wanted to give my encouragement that you are AWESOME for successfully breastfeeding twins as a working mom. Breast milk is really one of the single most important things you can give your little ones in there young months, if able,… ( besides of course the obvious love, affection, shelter, etc,) I had my first, (singleton,) 10 mos ago, and am still breastfeeding. He was as healthy as could be but did not sleep through the night, ( as in a solid 6 hours,) until 5 mos. And then, you could be guaranteed, that if one thing happened for a week or two, it was guaranteed to change the following week due to teething, new food tummy troubles, first cold, etc. Now he sleeps great when not affected by one of the above. Just have to say, stick with the breastfeeding, you really are an inspiration for all, and time will tell. I personally did not add solids till 5 1/2 mos, but that did make a difference with his sleeping habit. As you add cereal now, and fruit and veggies to come, things will lengthen out a bit. Also, your girls could be in a major growth spurt as well if they WERE sleeping through the night, and now they aren't, which would be solved by the "time will tell" philosophy. And, as you probably know, breast milk is processed and digested quicker than formula, so in a way it just comes with the territory. It just shows your girls are thriving, growing, and HUNGRY!!!! (At your expense!) I agree with the help one night in a blue moon with your husband and a pumped bottle if able, ( and if you are so exhausted, that it makes sense to you).
Sorry for the lack of a secret bullet, but thanks for being an inspirational working mom and a great writer!
You are doing an awesome job at breastfeeding.!! Well done. I have just stopped breastfeeding my twins at 8 months old, but this is because I was no longer coping with the feeds while chasing around my 2 year old. Was taking up too much time. That was my personal choice.
I am in Australia, and my clinic nurses say only 25% of babies are sleeping through the night by 6 months, and 50% by 12 months.
Sleeping through definition: going to bed and no feeding, soothing, putting dummie (paci) back during the night and waking after 5am in the morning.
In saying that, I do happen to have twins that sleep through the night, did so when they were fully breastfeed and have continued to do so now that they are formula fed. The only difference I have noticed with formula is they now have 3 feeds a day instead of 5 breastfeeds. This is at 8 months old though, your girls are younger and would need more.
I have kept them on the same routine since the day we got home from hospital. Very similar to yours now, when one would wake I would wake the other for a feed etc.
This is what they are doing at 8 months:
6am Wake & Feed
7am Breakfast
9am Sleep 1 hour
11am Feed
12 noon Lunch
2pm Sleep 1 hour
4.30pm Dinner
5pm Bath
5.30pm Feed
6pm Bed
This was basically what I was doing from when they came home from hospital too – only difference is no solids. I didn't start solids until 6 months of age, because that is what is recommended here.
We always start our day at 6am and there bedtime has always been 6pm. I would demand feed them when they woke over night roughly 3 hourly, but always waking the other at the same time. To start with I was feeding 9pm/12midnight/3am – then start our day at 6am.
After about a month, I noticed this start to change a little bit, 10pm/1am/4am – I would still wake them at 6am to start our day.
After 2 months, it was then 1am/4am – again starting our day at 6am.
Over night feeds would take 45min-1 hour.
Slowly they cut down the night feeds, in their time, until they were sleeping through the night. This was at 3 months, however I was not expecting it but it was very welcomed.
If you are wanting your girls to start their day at 8am, then I would make their bedtime 12 hours earlier, so 8pm. I would not let any day sleeps go past 5pm, so they have 3 hours awake before being put to bed for the night.
My girls also sleep in the same room. I have never made one be quiet if they are crying and the other is sleeping – at first it would disturb them. However that didn't last long, and they now sleep through basically anything the other can dish out. Including the 2 year old screaming outside their door. LOL
As others have said, your girls could also be going through a growth spurt, maybe they are not ready to drop their overnight feeds as well. I know that you are suffering from lack of sleep and definitely lack of quality sleep, but it will get easier as they get older. Breastfeeding really is such a great source of nourishment for your little ones, and you are doing brilliantly to be feeding both of them and they do sound like they are absolutely thriving.!
Keep up the great job.
No advice from me, but I liked the suggestion of pumping so you can have help with the feedings. Good luck. XOXO
Any expert you ask will tell you that a majority of babies are NOT sleeping through the night at this age. I tend to delete anonymous comments without even reading them, as they usually offer little positivity.
Anyway, from a mom who has been there, you are doing an awesome job! I am still nursing my twins twice a day at 16 months old. Every baby is different. One of my twins started sleeping through the night months before the other. It did help me not to have them in the same room, as they did wake each other. The better sleeper slept started sleeping in their room when she was around four months old, and the other slept in a pack n play in our living room until she was a little over a year old. She just had this habit of waking in the night that I had a hard time breaking.
Keep doing what you're doing! You're doing the best thing for all of you!!
Oh, my friend. I have been where you are right now, and I know how awful sleep deprivation is. I have no advice. Nicholas began sleeping through the night at 9 months and Luci (at 15 months) is still up and screaming at least once or twice a week in the middle of the night. As you know, I nursed them until they were 13 months, and I do not believe their night-waking was because they were breastfed. I also disagree with the idea that a 4-month-old baby should be sleeping through the night. Nice idea, but that wasn't my experience at all.
The Weissbluth book was my Bible for both Isabella and the twins. I followed it as much as it made sense to.
It will get better. I wish I had the magic solution for you. But you have some great advice here. I hope something works.