After an ectopic pregnancy, 5 IVF cycles to conceive Bo, and one more IVF cycle to conceive the girls, I am finished with infertility treatments. I will never be pregnant again and have no desire to have any more children. Mike and I are both ready to move past this stage of our lives. Our years of family building are over and our family is complete.
However, we still have three embryos remaining.
When I was ten weeks pregnant with the girls, I mentioned the embryos to my RE and he said they are excellent embryos. I asked about our options and he said he would love to see us donate the embryos to another couple. I’ve also researched donating them for stem cell research.
Mike and I have talked about our embryos a great deal. We’ve pondered the situation and what we feel is the best thing to do. About halfway through this pregnancy, we both came to the same decision. We would like to donate our embryos to another couple.
It wasn’t long ago that Mike and I weren’t sure we would ever be parents. We were quickly running out of road on our infertility path and we were considering numerous options — surrogates, donor embryos, and I even had the adoption paperwork on the desk. We remember what it is like to face the possibility of never having children. And if we can potentially help another couple to have their own blessings, we would like to do so.
However, it is important to me that it be an open embryo adoption, which our RE does not currently do. I want to know if a pregnancy results and if it does, I would like to see pictures once a year and receive brief updates on how the child(ren) is doing. I don’t want to end up like a bad soap opera with Bo coming home in 20 years wanting to marry his biological sibling.
Do you know someone who is looking into embryo adoption? Are they willing to do an open adoption? If so, send them our way. We have three excellent embryos and I’m more than willing to share any information the couple might be interested in including family medical histories, etc.
I was recently interviewed by the Boston Globe about the isseu of what to do with remaining embryos. DH and I have not discussed it as we have just 3 left and will be transferring one at teh end of this week in hopes of getting our baby #3. We are not sure how many will be left as some may not thaw well but I'd like to think we could donate any left overs to another IF couple.
I have already donated my eggs so that makes it easier and harder. Easier in that I like the idea of helping someone who needs it but harder in that, wow – my kids could have a few genetic siblings out there and that's kinda weird.
I hope you find a couple for your embryos. Each one is a miracle in waiting.
I think it is so beautiful that you are doing this! I hope you blog about the process once it gets started, I would love to hear about it.
I don't have any frozen embryos as we never did IVF, but I mentioned to my husband the other day that the idea of being a surrogate has rolled around in my head. What a great way to give the most precious gift on earth to another couple, but also a final "eff you" to infertility.
I commend you on your decision! I'm sure this was a tough one, but how exciting. I *think* we would make the same decision, but I know there is a lot more to it. I do know a couple who are patients of Dr. J's and are currently on a break (after 3 years of treatments including a chemical pregnancy last month from their first IVF). I'm not sure where they are at, but when I talk to her next I'll let her know.
I have not shared with a single soul yet, but this is the option that Kyle and I have {almost} decided on. Only recently have we really heard more about it. When we went to Presentation Sunday {you can read more about it on my blog}, it was the first time we had ever heard of it. I think it's the best of both worlds. We're obviously, not able to get pregnant without assistance, but we've also been thinking about adoption. Embryo adoption seems like the right option for us. Other than the option is out there, we have not done very much research on it yet. I sort of feel like we'd be jinxing ourselves if we looked into it very much before a solid decision has been made so I've been holding off. Very interesting that your post caught my eye today.
I do- I'm reading another blog right now where they are running out of options. I haven't asked specifics, but can certainly hook the two of you up… email me!
Kelly
Kfigueroa7@yahoo.com
Have you considered doing a post on Mel's Lost and Found? That might be a great way to connect with someone.
I think that's a great idea! You will be helping someone out
.
Hi,
What a precious family!
If you would like to have us help find the right family for your 3 frosties- please email and also view our website-
http://www.EmbryosAlive.com
We are the 2nd oldest Embryo Adoption agency in the U.S. Started from our own journey through infertility and finally interantional adoption- We know the heartache of infertility and all the failures-
We have adoptors complete a family study of over 20 back ground check items- include the legal paperwork and facilitate the process from shipping to transfer to hopefully success!
Thanks!
and prayers,
Bonnie
Founder/Executive Director
http://www.EmmbryosAlive.com
embryosalive@yahoo.com
Wow. This is huge. I hope that you find the perfect match.
What an amazing gift you are going to give a couple. Remarkable!
I think what you guys are doing is an amazing, giving and totally selfless and unselfish thing to do. What a gift to give someone. You should be proud!
Your kids are pretty damn cute, if it weren't for that no sleep thing…
I guess I will stick with raising your babies in presents and cute clothes
What a beautiful choice. I hope it works out:)
What a Blessing… The Gift Of A Child… You have a beautiful family. Many Blessings,
Wow. I am in awe of your selflessness. This is a decision I never had to make. We had 4 embryos leftover from the IVF cycle that produced Isabella. They thawed all 4 for my FET, and one was of poor quality and was discarded. The other 3 were transferred, and voila-the twins.
But, I'd like to think I would make the incredibly wonderful deicison you made. You are going to be giving an incredible gift to a very lucky couple.
Amazing you wrote about this. We have been talking about doing this with our one final embryo as well. Not sure how we'll go about it, but I'll keep tabs on what you do! Good luck- and like you, I'm not sure if I could do a "closed" adoption, per say.I'd be too curious as well……..
Hugs
what an awesome thing to do!
and catching up on many posts: BEAUTIFUL girls, what a fun Halloween and love your family. Life is nutty, isn't it
Jamie we might be interested,we just want to see what comes out of the situation with Avery first.
Heather
I think it's truly wonderful that you want to do this. It is the hugest gift you can ever give someone.
There is going to be a couple out there who's lives could potentially be made so wonderful by your decision. It's awesome to think about.
I hope it all works out.
Clare
I think that is a huge decision, and also a wonderful gift to share. I am sure you will find the right person to donate too.
We also have a few embryos left over and we are also done building our family (no big surprise there!). We, however, have decide to donate ours to research. We considered adoption but decided it wasn't right for us. I think it is great that you are willing to do it!
Just think how my life would be if someone had been as giving as you.
You will be providing a gift from God for some lucky couple[s]! The Lord does move in interesting ways my dear:) You are indeed special!
What a wonderful thing you are doing for a family. I sent a message to a fellow blogger, I am not sure if she is in a place to do this but you post made me think of her.
What a wonderful gift you are giving someone. All donors are precious & their gifts are so generous, that words could not describe how they help others.
You and your husband are amazing!!!! What a wonderful life giving gift, not only for the children you created but for another couple as well.
I have so much to share with you and anyone else considering embryo donation/adoption. I am currently 26+ weeks pregnant thanks to the miracle of embryo adoption!!! We have an open relationship with our donors and are so grateful for that- I can't imagine it any other way!!!!
We found our donor family @ http://www.MiraclesWaiting.org. I highly recommend using them. As a donor, you can view and reply to profiles for free. If you choose, you can also post your family's profile for free as well. This way you are in complete and total control of your situation and can set all of the rules that are important to you and your husband. We agreed to travel to our donor's clinic for the transfer and I stayed in their home during my visit. The families who are looking for embryos make a one time $100. donation for the upkeep of the website in exchange for the privilege of posting their profile and ability to reply to donors who choose to post their profiles.
Our donor couple worked with both Snowflakes and Embryos Alive for over a year unsuccessfully to facilitate an open adoption. They posted their profile for free at http://www.MiraclesWaiting.org and we were matched in less than a week!!! We were able to negotiate the terms that were important to both families.
Without having a 3rd party involved, we were able to save the $5,000-$10,000.+ fees that the agencies charge the adoptive families. This is money that we plan to spend on our family, instead of giving to an agency for a service provided.
I would be more than happy to help, support, and guide you (and anyone else interested)through this exciting time FOR FREE!!! Why, because I believe God has blessed us with these two miracles so that we can spread the word and help other families be as blessed as we are!!!! We have also paid a HUGE fortune to agencies in the past 10+ years to adopt our other 5 miracles. I would like to help everyone save money if possible, so that they have more money in their pocket for their family!!!
Please feel free to follow our blog @ http://www.JensAdoptionBlessings.blogspot.com and email me @ JensAdoptionBlessings@gmail.com.
Hugs!!!
We adopted our 6 embies through http://www.miracleswaiting.org I am currently 5 weeks pregnant thanks to the selflessness of our embryo donors. We chose miracles waiting because other options cost in the 10's of thousands and this was all facilitated between us and the other couples not through an expensive agency.
Bless you on your journey and in your decision. My blog, like Jen's explains a lot!