I’ve read several posts already this week about the indignity of Valentine’s Day. Friends on Facebook have been posting about how much they despise the holiday for weeks. Tertia writes about how Valentine’s Day is for Losers. And while I know many of them are just writing in jest — or in hopes that their significant other will bring home, flowers, candy, and jewels, I have to admit that all of the Valentine’s Day haters get under my skin. And honestly, I think a lot the hatred surrounding this holiday has to do with skewed expectations.
Last year, on Valentine’s Day, I wrote about our anniversary and our engagement because we are one of those strange couples who were married on the day each year that Hallmark makes enough from heart shaped cards to pay the electric bill in all of their stores for the year. If you read those posts, you’ll see we weren’t married on Valentine’s Day because I’m a hopeless romantic (far from it) but my best laid plans fell through.
And the fact is, I like Valentine’s Day. I still remember how excited I was in second grade about Valentine’s Day! So excited that I made myself sick and didn’t get to go to school. I was so upset! I loved exchanging Valentine’s at school and the ice cream cone cupcakes with pink frosting and sprinkles that were always on the treat table. I loved the boxes of chocolate candy, the conversation hearts (especially the white ones), and story of cupid.
I remember in 6th grade, I brought my ‘boyfriend’ a box of chocolates. I was too afraid to give them to him, so instead they sat in the bottom of my locker for the rest of the year. He did give me a very cute teddy bear and a necklace with a heart. Eventually, after the “big break-up” my friends (we called ourselves the J-4′s — Jenny, Jordan, Jenny, and Jamie… cool huh? We were total nerds.) and I painted the necklace with nail polish and lit it on fire in my room. We also cut the bear to shreds with pinking shears and incinerated him in the trash can as well. (Sorry, Mom!)
My first “love” had his mom buy me a Valentine’s gift. It was this ugly tree stump vase with an equally horrendous bear and carnations. Even worse? She sent it to my house, instead of to school! What good would the flowers do if no one knew I received them??? 
My mom called him “stumpy” after that…
Mike and I went away together for the first time over Valentine’s weekend. I was student teaching and Mike was working in Champaign when we first started dating. I was pulled over twice on my way to Mike’s house that Friday afternoon. The second time I actually received a ticket. We stayed at a hotel in Indianapolis and planned to go out for a fancy dinner. After shopping and exploring downtown Indy we decided we just weren’t up for a fancy dinner. Instead, we went to a place called GameStop and played video games (especially Chips Away!) for hours, followed by Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, and ordering a pizza in our hotel room. Romantic? Probably not by most people’s definition. But for us, it was perfect.
My point of all of these random stories of Valentine’s past? I think that many people hate Valentine’s Day because they have expectations that are unrealistic and insane. They expect for cupid to shoot his arrow at just the right time so they fall in love on February 14. Others think that they should be eating a fancy dinner, wearing a red dress, and watching the Empire State Building light up with a heart, like in Sleepless in Seattle.
The fact is, real life isn’t like that. Sometimes you’re too sick to go to school and have the infamous ice cream cone cupcake. Sometimes the gift from the guy you thought was “the one” is torched during a candlelight vigil. Other times, the perfect dinner doesn’t involve wine and calamari, but simply a pizza eaten in a hotel bed… and a speeding ticket.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day this year? What do you expect from your significant other or lack thereof? When you wake up on February 15 will you be happy to see another Valentine’s Day complete, or still upset because your expectations weren’t met?
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Here’s the thing- romance doesn’t come naturally for my hubby so I don’t care what the true meaning of the holiday is, how much Hallmark makes from it- all I care is that in addition to my birthday, our anniversary and Christmas- V day causes the man to put some thought into romancing me and I am cool with that!
Our Valentine’s weekend we are driving to pick up some furniture out of his grandmother’s house. They moved her to assisted living and they finally have someone interested in her house so we need to get stuff out. There will be no romance. But we aren’t big Valentine’s people anyways. We will be together, that is all that matters.
Doesn’t mean alot to me! Hubby and I have valentines day every day!
I do love buying goodies for the grandkids though!
Doesn’t mean alot to me! Hubby and I have Valentines Day every day! I do love buying goodies for the grandkids though!
Oh yes, the destroying of the “boyfriend” gifts……those were good times!
Jenny
We don’t really celebrate Valentines. The next day is M’s birthday, so we make a bigger deal out of that. We do usually do something sweet for each other though. This year we are planning on going hiking if the weather cooperates.
I have always been disappointed on Valentines day, and my hubby doesn’t ever do anything for me. I was ok with that and Valentines day, because I hoped every year it would change. Then one year he got fired on Valentines day, so now it’s just a reminder of that, so I am one of those people who isn’t too keen on it. But I do intend to enjoy the day with my kiddos and they will make hubby a valentines card so I will enjoy that part of the holiday!
Interesting post!! I too love to celebrate Valentines Day…
Thank you Jamie for sharing.Love is love though a day is mentioned in specific.Love you all throughout.Have a great joyful Valentine’s day ahead.
lol:)
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I am not a “hater” of Valentines Day, I do think it is an over rated Hallmark day though LOL I don’t want my husband or who ever to only do those sweet things for me ONE day out of the year… but every day out of the year. If he does nothing for me on that ONE day but shows me how much he loves me the other 364 days of the year, I would careless! So now it is about making it fun for the boys!
Have a happy anniversary!
Happy Anninversary on Valentine’s Day!!! Glad you two are taking off for the weekend to celebrate. BoBo will enjoy staying with grandma and grandpa
I do have some questions about the burning of this bear in the trash can hhhmmm?If I remember correctly–you had a plastic trash can?? Where the 4-J’s present for this ritual?
Love Mom
Very well said. My husband and I aren’t big Valentine’s Day people, but I wouldn’t call myself a hater. And, yes, expectations get in the way of a lot of things in life – especially Valentine’s Day. I, like you, would prefer to just spend time with my hubby…doing whatever! Life gets so busy that sometimes time spent together is the best gift.
We’re not big Valentine’s Day people in our house. I don’t think I would categorize myself as a “hater” per se but I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Of course I loved it as a kid, we always got a treat of some sort and a card at home and then the Valentine’s parties at school were just the best. As far as romance goes I guess I just like every day romance, as opposed to one day that you’re supposed to show it. I think G and I reserve that more for our anniversary. I do have a feeling in the next few years there will be many more red frosted cupcakes and little candy hearts in our house, to show our kids the fun of Valentine’s Day.
Oh and we really don’t do anything either. The restaurants are always way over crowded and we would rather be at home with the kids anyway – especially with the two now.
Just another day to us. In fact, DH is out of town all week and I’d be surprised if he mentions anything. We don’t need Hallmark to tell us when to love each other.
I did really enjoy sending children’s valentines during college, and started a big trend among all of my friends.
I keep seeing ads on TV for flowers, and the thought crossed my mind that DH might surprise me, and my reaction was that I hope he doesn’t since I won’t be home to accept the delivery and they’ll freeze on the porch!