Spanglish asks:
Now that you have Bo in your life, how is IVF different this time around — both emotionally and physically? Is it easier to deal with? Are there different challenges?
I love Spanglish! She is wonderful woman, teacher, blogger, and mom!
Yes, I found IVF to be very different this time around. Emotionally, I do not think I was as invested in the cycle. I think a big part of that is that I have made my peace with the fact that Bo could be an only child and set a limit on the number of IVF’s I will do and on what I will go through to produce a sibling. With Bo, there was no limit. I was just going to do it until it worked or I killed myself.
Sure, you say, it’s easy to say this now — you’re pregnant. But at the same time, I know that just because I’m pregnant today does not mean that I will be pregnant tomorrow – it does not mean that there will be a live baby at the end.
Despite my positive betas I still don’t feel pregnant. It isn’t something that I think about every 5 seconds like I did with my cycles and pregnancy that produced Bo. In many ways I think this is because I do have Bo who provides a constant distraction but I also think it is a result of undergoing so many cycles. After 5 cycles, I knew exactly what to expect and didn’t stress about it nearly as much as I had in the past.
Physically, the IVF process was also a bit different. I am lucky that I have a very high pain tolerance and retrievals typically do not give me many problems. However, staying “low-key” for the days following transfer was more of a challenge and even though Mike did stay home I found myself folding laundry and picking up Bo before I probably “should have.”
The big difference was logistics. Just going through the cycle is more difficult with a baby in tow. We had to arrange for my mom to watch Bo and most nights he stayed at her house so I could go to my appointments. It definitely doesn’t help that we had to drive 2 hours each way for the appointments. However, not having to take off work and plan for a sub was nice — my computer just came with me and I managed to work through the entire cycle.
I’ve received emails asking why I haven’t discussed this pregnancy more and mostly it is because it all doesn’t feel real to me. I’ll be 6 weeks pregnant on Tuesday which is still REALLY early. I’m not naive and I know that a lot can happen which is part of the reason for my silence, but at the same time there just really isn’t much to talk about at this point. I had strong betas and we won’t know anything more until the ultrasound on February 25. I take my Lovenox shot every evening and stuff myself full of progesterone. I feel fine and normal, despite the bloating from the medication. I’m not sick. We’re just waiting. What more is there to say?
Friday’s Feature at Sticky Feet Part Deux is Ask Jamie. Feel free to email me or leave a comment with any question you would like for me to answer. Anything is fair game!
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Thanks so much for the help with the babyfood!
What a great post… I found it a lot different going through IVF after a successful PG too. I had a negative before our daughter that was really difficult, but it was easier than the negatives before my first PG. For me it was helpful to be in a place where I didn’t have to deal with the reality that I many never have children, I was still very upset but not in the same way as before.
I am so glad you got your positive and I am praying that all goes well for you!
Hugs
I can’t wait to hear about the ultrasound.
Thanks for the compliments!! And thanks for answering the question.