A few weeks ago I was sitting in a teacher’s meeting and my principal clicked the mouse and a slide popped up on the projector with a drawing similar to the one above. It’s one of the few things I remember from the 2 solid days of meetings we endured before school began.
The point of this possibility curve is that usually things get worse before they get better. The Principal’s example was dealing with remodeling our middle school. The school is fine, but life is going to be quite difficult when they move all of the teachers and students in December to redo the school (the dip in the curve). Long term, the sacrifice will be worth it because there will be a much better school. Make sense? Clear as mud? I thought so.
In my malaise during these meetings I drew this curve on a yellow post-it and stuck it in my planner. I’ve been looking at it often. The more I think about it the more I realize this strange possibility curve actually applies to many aspects of my life.
Infertility was definitely curved in this way. I was living my life and everything was fine and then suddenly, everything changed, and I started down the dip in the curve. The curve bottomed out with IVF cycle #5 and then I started the uphill climb of pregnancy before reaching the next level – parenthood. Yes, it sucked. Yes, infertility made my life become much worse, but ultimately, my life is better for it. Even the bottom of the curve was worth it and I’d do it all over again.
I also feel like I am trekking across this curve currently. If you’ve read here awhile, you know that a move is in our future. When?? We have no idea. Mike has applied for several transfers and now we are in limbo land as we sit and wait for the proverbial bomb to drop and our lives to change at lightening speed (that’s when the curve will bottom out).
But I can feel the slip down the curve taking place. Everything is qualified by what the next day may bring. “We’ll have Bo’s birthday party in the basement — if we are still here.” That has become our mentality.
Life will definitely become more stressful and more difficult before it is better. I’ll have to quit my job. We’ll have to find a new house. We’ll have to move. All of it will be difficult. Especially considering many of the people I am closest too aren’t being very supportive… But ultimately, I know that our lives will be better in the long run. Mike and I will have better jobs. We’ll live in an area where there is more to do — more opportunities for Bo. We’ll eventually end up being closer to more family, etc.
Sometimes it takes putting it all on the line. Being willing to risk temporary unhappiness for long term gain…
For those willing to take that risk, whether the risk is IVF, moving, or another long-term goal, the possibilities are truly endless.
I have to admit, I’ve never been a fan of “everything happens for a reason”. Sometimes life just sucks. But this “Possibility Curve” is a bit more my style. There might not be a reason for my IF and m/cs, but maybe, just maybe this is the storm before the calm. I needed that today. Thanks.
(Here from ICLW)
Great post! I am coming in from ICLW. I am at the bottom of the curve right now, and I have to make the possibilities and opportunities work to get something better! This inspired me !
This is a great post. It really helps to put things in perspective.
This is great information and definitely puts things in perspective! There have been some issues in my family as well…namely finding out that my sister (who has been married for 5 months) is now 8 weeks pregnant while we are still waiting for that day (after 5 years)!
Great Post! It sure does cover a lot of things in life!
Take care
Wow!!! 5 IVF cycles??? Was Bo the successful IVF #6? He’s sooo cute that I would think he is so well worth the wait and the journey.
My husband and I are in a rest period and about to make a decision on IVF #1. Yes, just the first… but still is a difficult decision to make.
Have a great week!!!
This is a great post. Really made me stop and think. Thank you. I love your possibility curve. I may have to steal some ideas from you and tweak them into my own. (But hey I’m a teacher and isn’t that was teachers do best?)
ICLW
Without risk there could be no gain.
I agree with this curve theory, the bottom for me was the third miscarriage, then a year later, I had my son. Worth every moment of pain.
Bo is adorable and I wish you all the best on the journey ahead to bring a sibling into your lives.
Difficult decisions are hard in short term but the results are worth it in the bigger picture.
Here from IComLeavWe… (adoption,pregnancy loss, IVF twins)
My Little Drummer Boys
Here from ICLW. I really like that idea. Very true!
Thanks for such a great post. It’s always darkest before the dawn…:-)
ICLW
I like this little picture! thanks for sharing it! I am such a visual leanrer and you are right it applies to so many areas!
here from ICLW
“Being willing to risk temporary unhappiness for long term gain…”
That is so very true! Thank you for reminding me!
ICLW
Beautiful post.