I am Charlotte

On Friday night, Mandy, Christina and I headed to Vincennes to watch Sex and the City: The Movie.

In the spring of 2005, Mike and I rented all of the Sex and the City seasons and watched them, back to back. We both enjoyed the show and it was perfect, mind-numbing entertainment after a long day at work. I haven’t watched the show since then but it is amazing how quickly I was able to remember and put myself back into the lives of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.

I’ve always related to Charlotte. We both have dark hair and eyes, anal retentive personalities, perfectionist attitudes, and a strange naivety about the world. (I was nudged on both sides throughout the movie due to the strange similarities — now if only I was a runner…) Most importantly, Charlotte and I shared infertility.

Mike and I watched the show before we began IVF but after my ectopic but even so, I could always relate to Charlotte – her personality and her longing for a child. I know I shed a few tears when they received the letter from China saying they were going to be adopting a little girl and I’ll never forget the episode where Charlotte has to “buck up” after a failed cycle and go to a party for Brady. I’ve experienced so many of the feelings that the show tried to portray…

** Warning, Spoiler ahead**

Needless to say, I had to make pretend shooting noises at the screen when Charlotte magically becomes pregnant during the Sex and the City movie. WTF??

Yes, I know that it does happen. Some of my best blog buddies have been blessed with surprise pregnancies — pregnancy after surrogacy, pregnancy after stopping treatments, pregnancy after adoption, a natural pregnancy after infertility treatments to achieve the first. And I am totally thrilled for these women. But I think it is wrong for the world to keep preaching that “if you just adopt” or “if you just relax” you will become pregnant. That isn’t always the case and it misinforms many.

Numerous people have said to me, “well now that you have one maybe the next one will be easier,” or even better, “leave it in God’s hands.”

Yes, some people have unexplained infertility. Yes, some people have infertility diagnoses that give them a small chance of becoming pregnant on their own. I am not one of those people. You will never open this blog and be greeted by a surprise pregnancy. It is not possible.

There is NO WAY that I will ever get pregnant without IVF. It is NOT possible. I do not have fallopian tubes. There is no way for the egg to reach my uterus without invasive procedures. It is NOT POSSIBLE.

I know that a lot of people read my blog now that aren’t infertile. It’s shifted from primarily an infertility blog to a mommy-blog/Jamie’s hobbies blog and in a way, I think that is great. I’m reaching a different audience now and not just preaching the choir. Let me give those of you who aren’t infertile a little bit of advice… Do not say things like “if you adopt you will become pregnant.” Adoption is not a cure for infertility. Do not say “it’s in God’s hands.” God created IVF but I had to pursue the procedure to make a child happen. Do not say, “just relax,” under any circumstances.

Exiting soapbox…

Minus that one small part of the movie, I really enjoyed it and despite the infertility faux pas I would still recommend any Sex and the City lovers to see it. It was a fun girl’s night out filled with too much food and lots of laughs.

*****

Mandy brought up a good point — I always thought the show was called Sex IN the City but apparently it was always Sex AND the City. Are Mandy and I the only people on earth who thought this??