SAHM – Stay at Home Mom
WAHM – Work at Home Mom
WOHM – Work Outside the Home Mom
Most mothers fit in one of 3 categories — they are SAHM, WAHM, or WOHM. The issue? Where the heck do I fit?
Currently, I feel like I fit the bill for all three roles.
I’m a SAHM in some ways since I’m at home with Bo except for 11-2 when I go to work at the high school. I’m the breastfeeding, baby food making, laundry doing, house cleaning, grocery buying, list making, get up in the middle of the night cause I’m “not working” SAHM. (Yes, I know, all Mom’s do all this stuff… And it isn’t that Mike doesn’t help, he does… I just feel like I’m responsible for a lot of it since I am home more!)
My house is usually pretty immaculate — mostly because I’m totally anal retentive (Bah, to people who said it could not be done once I had a child! I WILL find a way!) and also because we are trying to sell it and I want it ready to show whenever it is needed. And, 9 times out of 10, Mike comes home to a home cooked meal ready and waiting for him.
I’m also currently a WAHM. After Bo goes down for the night I’ve been spending the rest of my evening training for my new teaching position. I’ve been on the computer at least 2 hours each evening and usually during Bo’s naps working on various aspects of the training. By the time I finish my training at night my brain is totally fried, I’m seeing blue and yellow spots, and I’m exhausted.
And of course, I am a WOHM too because I am working part-time at the high school. Any teacher knows that there is no such thing as being a part-time teacher… I won’t bore you with the details but I will say, it’s consuming. Especially considering we are publishing a book that has to be totally finished in just a few weeks and we’re only about half done. (Yes, it always comes together at the end…)
Therefore, here I am wondering where I fit in. But even more than that, where I want to fit in. At this point, the world is my oyster. Which classification do I want to have? I have to figure out what I want my role to be and really think about what is best for not only my family, but also for me.
Each “title” has perks and negatives. Some of the negatives are even perks for others. But the fact is I’m really struggling to figure out what I want my ultimate “Mommy title” to be. I already know that no matter which path I take someone is going to judge me. Ultimately, I have to please myself.
I unintentionally decided to try all the titles out at once. And I must say, I’m tired…
So, tell me, what are you? A SAHM, a WAHM, or a WOHM and what factors led you to your title? Are you happy with you position? If you had to do it over again, what would you change? Help me make an informed decision!
I know you know I’m a SAHM, but I don’t think I’ve ever shared with you why. So here you go. I worked part-time after having Alex and before having Meredith. While I enjoyed the “balance” at first, it quickly got old! I felt like I was doing a half-job on both ends. I couldn’t accomplish everything I wanted to at work, and stuff was falling through the cracks at home. while it was nice to have the extra income to put towards Alex’s college fund and our retirement, we decided it wasn’t worth it. As Alex got older, started to do more things, and enjoy more activities, I found myself longing to be with him more. So, I chucked my job and I’ve not missed it for a minute. Seriously. People warned me I’d be bored and lonely, and that couldn’t be farther from my experience. We do something fun and/or enriching every day and I can’t imagine not sitting in the Kindergarten car pool lane every day. Alex woudln’t be able to do half of what he does if I was committed to my previous work scedule, even though it was part time. Of course, I’m extremely fortunate in that any income I made was purely anciallary. We do have to watch our money closer than when I was employed. To me, my time at home has been priceless and I wouldn’t change anything! Jamie, you are so organized and scheduled that you could balance both and not feel like you were slighting either side, so follow your guy on this one! You have to make the best decision for you in order to be the best mom to Bo!
I’m just a mom. Technically I stay home, but I watch another girl too. I am also working towatds some long term career goals once our children (I hope) older/
I’m all three as well, so I guess I’m no help. My ultimate would be to ditch the WOHM 30 hours a week but for that to happen my WAHM business would really need to start making some money.
I wouldn’t give up the SAHM for anything. I absolutely adore being home with them all day long (I work my 30 hours 6-midnight when my husband is home with them). But photography is such a passion of mine that I would love to be able to pay the bills with that.
So basically if money were no object I would be SAHM and WAHM.
well, i think we need to add another catagory that I recently invented. The SAHMV or Stay at home mom who volunteers. I know most stay home moms who have kids in school volunteer, but lately, i feel like I’ve taken it to the next level. My volunteer work has now exceeded 20 hours a week. But, it’s worth it and I love it. We are the sr. high youth group leaders at church, vacation bible school director, moms club newsletter and activities coordinator and church proofreader. who says staying home is boring??
I’m a WOHM… but I’m also a full time mom. I still am pumping all day, coming home to BF, play with babies and the four year old, cook, clean, feed, put to bed, do laundry, etc. I do not manage to get a home-cooked meal on the table every night, but I do it a few nights per week. My house is not immaculate every day, but it’s neat most days. My kids are clean (though my four year old occasionally leaves a little to be desired), my kids are fed (though my four year old is often on a hunger strike), my kids are loved (though my four year old often claims that I hate him if I won’t give him two desserts).
Still, I’d much prefer to be a SAHM. In a perfect world, I’d be a SAHM who had a mother’s helper for a couple hours two days a week. Maybe if I didn’t have triplets (PLUS a four year old) I wouldn’t feel the need for the mother’s helper? I don’t know… I probably would! I was talking about the PERFECT world. Given a choice, even without the mother’s helper, I would totally be a SAHM if I could. But, alas, we simply cannot afford to live without my income.
Sounds to me like you found the perfect balance whatever you call it. I guess I usually call myself a stay at home mom, but… I am also a college student, I work as a rental property manager for a friend but take my kid along with me, I do that work at home and at the rental property, I do some voluteer work at home on the computer.
I’m late to the discussion, but I’m a SAHM, mostly because it took me so long to get to this point and it was such a long road, I want to spend as much time with little C as I can. I do have options for being a WOHM if and when I want to (we own a company that at the moment we aren’t doing as much work with, but we could do more if I decided to do some more work. And I also could probably do some work for my former employer doing event planning). At the moment, I am happy with my choice. I do have days though that I wish I could just get out of the house and focus on something a little less mindless than picking up toys and changing diapers.