Moving, Revisited.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and Mike and I have been doing a lot of talking about our pending move and what the future will hold for our family. Here’s what we’ve come up with. Feel free to weigh-in.

I do know that not moving is not an option. There are numerous reasons but mostly because moving is what is best for Bo and Mike. I do think that my mom will eventually come with us but at this point she is going through a lot and it is unrealistic to expect her to make such a major decision at this point. I’ve backed off considerably but I do feel confident that when the cards fall into place her furniture will be in the moving van with ours. I still talk about “when we move” but I’ve been trying to put less pressure on her. Grandpa’s death has been very difficult for all of us and I am trying to give her both the space and the support that she needs without being too overbearing.

The biggest road block to picking up and moving is Mike’s job. We will not move without at least one of us having a job (that would just be stupid). In reality, the employed party needs to be Mike as he would like to stay working for the government and has a higher salary than I do. I probably will not be hired at another high school because I have too much education and too much experience so the move will probably mean a total career change for me, which is a factor that I am also giving a great deal of consideration. (More thoughts on ‘Career Changes’ later in the week…)

Therefore, we are waiting for a transfer. There are two specific offices that are close to Mike’s parents that he would like to be hired into but as to how long it will be until an upward transfer is available is anyone’s guess. He could do a lateral move but he really wants to advance as part of the move. A higher position would provide lots of positives — the government will buy our house if it doesn’t sell within 3 months, the government paying for our move, as well as extra salary and a few other perks. So, it is waiting for this ideal job that is the real “hold-up”. It could be tomorrow, it could be two years from now. We just don’t know.

I’m a planner. So I hate this “limbo land” that this situation creates. If the perfect job opened up tomorrow, Mike would go. Bo and I would not be able to move until June at the very earliest. I have no intention of leaving school until the year is completely over and our yearbook will not be complete until at least mid-June.

We’ve been trying to look at the “big picture”. While it would be good to move now and be settled there are perks to staying where we are — at least for a little while longer. Our ultimate goal is to be where we are going to ‘plant roots’ by the time Bo starts Kindergarten (I had to move when I was in elementary school and it sucked –I don’t want to put my kid through that).

So, what do we do while we wait? Do we stay where we are? Do we move to the town where Mike currently works? Moving North without one of us having a job is not an option.

If we stay where we are and both continue to work at our current jobs we will be able to save a great deal of money. As of May, we will be totally debt free and this option would allow us to put all of the money that has been going towards the mortgage into savings. Potentially, this could be very good for us as the more money we can amass before moving North will mean a better house. There are some expenses related to this option. One is Mike’s commute (time, gas, vehicle maintenance) which is about 2 hours each day, but we are already paying for this expense. The only ‘new’ expense would be paying my mom for full-time childcare when I go back to work full-time in August. Even with paying Mom it would still be well worth it financially for me to work. If we stay in Olney it would not be a wise option for me not to work, considering Mike’s commute. There is no reason for him to drive two hours each day if I am not working.

Another option is we could move an hour North to the town that Mike currently works in until the ideal position becomes available. The consequences of this would be that since the cost of housing is comparable we would still be debt free but we would not be able to save as much. I have no idea what I would do if we moved there. This would eliminate the commuting cost but would add moving expenses. This town is closer to the IVF doctor so that would be a perk and I would most likely start trying for the second child a bit sooner if we took this option. (More thoughts on ‘Trying Again’ later in the week…)

Both options have pluses and minuses. If we stay here we would save more. We wouldn’t have to move twice. But what if he is transferred in October? Could I really leave my students in the middle of the year? If we move to Effingham, we could move again in a very short amount of time. Is it worth it to buy another house and move twice in a very short amount of time?

We also know that with our current insurance we have two more fresh IVF cycles and any FET’s that would go with those available. If Mike is transferred before we try again that could impact our insurance coverage, which is also a factor.

So, what do we do??

I am really trying to not get my panties all in a bunch about it, but don’t let me fool you… I am worried. I’m worried about where we will live. I am worried about the fact that a house comparable to what we have now will cost at least $200,000 more than our current home. I’m worried about my career. And most of all, I’m worried about making the right decision for my family.

I am trying to just live my life day by day and be grateful for what I have. Amazingly, this is easier than it ever has been before — now that Bo is here. He has slowed me down and made me appreciate life a lot more. I am trying my hardest to have faith that everything really does happen for a reason and that everything will work out for the best in the long run.

So far in my life, I feel like I have made all of the right decisions. Sure, there are a few blips here and there — but when it comes to the BIG stuff — you know, those life-changing crossroads, I’ve always come out ahead. I guess that is one benefit to my Type A, planner personality. When it comes time for the major decisions I really do think everything through — and so far, that has paid off. I just have to have faith that this time will be no different.

So, I’m thinking it through… And if you have an opinion, please feel free to share it with me as I am trying to look at this from all angles and I know I could still be missing a few…