If one more person at school looks at me and says “you’re still here” I may just walk out…
I’ll admit it — over the last two weeks the temptation to stop working has been strong. My feet are so swollen I can’t even begin to wear normal shoes and most days I slog through the day.
I have definitely been in survival mode. The kids are still working and learning but this is definitely not the peak of my teaching career. Not to mention the fact that the kids know that Thursday is my last day — and therefore feel the need to start shutting down completely. My sub is really going to have her hands full. She is going to have to establish early and often that she is the new boss in town… I’m glad I’m not in her shoes!
A big part of me thinks that if I stop working early people will think less of me. It isn’t that I need to be working but Dr. W hasn’t told me that I can’t so I keep on keepin‘ on. (If there was an actual medical reason for me not to work or if Bo was in some danger this would be a whole different issue…) I am not a quitter and I have a commitment to be there. Yes, some days I come home and I feel like I’ve been run over by a tractor and just walking down the long hallway to the bathroom makes my feet ache but I said I would work and I feel like I should.
I’ve always been a worker. I don’t know what to do with myself when I don’t work. And I have very little respect for people who do not do some type of work outside the home. That is not to say that I don’t think SAHM’s have their work cut out for them — I totally get that — but I don’t understand why anyone without children would choose to stay home.
So, I’m still there. And each day I am asked multiple times why I am still there and given that look like “aren’t you about to explode”. Yes, I am. But I’m also a committed, determined, individual who internalizes stress like no other. While I would much rather be at home with my feet up worrying about my Grandpa and Bo’s pending arrival it just isn’t who I am. I’m the type that pushes myself to my absolute limit. Now I just have to hope I don’t hit that limit before Thursday.
3 days to go….
Good luck hanging in there!
I commend you for working but if you did decide to leave early, don't feel bad because your body is working harder than ever for Bo! (I was so swollen that I wore slippers to work in a corporate atmosphere.)
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Do you and I have the same SIL? Mine stays home because "someone has to take care of the dog"…I kid you not!
I COMPLETELY understand. I work full time and clean a business on the side for extra money. I cleaned the business up until a week before I delivered. That night there was a man in the office who stayed late and looked VERY concerned that I was there cleaning and he was sitting on his rear – lol. Oh and I worked at my regular full time job until the day before I was induced (I was a week late). People (mostly the two men) would say stupid things like "why are you here today? you should be home resting!" My response was "well, if you'd pay me I'd be home resting but since you don't I'm here working. That shut them up.
Good luck!